I want to give a brief update, since I know some of my dear friends and family have been asking. I am home from the port placement surgery today. It was scheduled for 2:15 and we were to arrive at noon, but the schedule had gotten behind and so they didn't take me back to the OR until after 4:30. In the meantime, I had taken my Xanax prior to arrival in preparation for the IV, but I am becoming a champ at that. THEN, they started giving me what they called "happy meds" to help relax, and since I had those for an extra 2 hours while laying in bed, I was in a pretty good place by the time I was taken back. I napped a little and read some more of the series I became addicted to over our vacation .... almost embarrassed to admit it...but yes, I am on the final book in the Divergent series. And yes, I cried like a baby at the end of the 3rd book....so unhappy with the ending. But my sweet hubby went online and found a highly rated and popular fan fiction book as an alternate to Allegiant (the 3rd book) and I am pretty pumped to read that next.
Anyway - the surgery went very well according to Dr. Barber. The thing that most often goes wrong is a puncture to the lung, and that didn't happen, so we arrived home shortly after 7:00. Long day. They left the needle in since the port needs to be accessed so quickly, so I am bandaged up with 3 little IV-like tubes hanging out. But it doesn't hurt. My shoulder is hurting a lot, I guess because of where they had to attach to the big vein near my collar bone, so I took the heavy duty pain pill and will be fading very quickly.
The good news though ----- right before we left for our vacation I had a call from the oncologist's office who had ordered all of the testing for additional cancer (CT scan & bone scan). All of the results came back NEGATIVE!! This was a huge praise, and we were so very thankful to get this news right as we were leaving town. This means that no cancer seems to have spread to another location in my body, even though it had access to my blood stream due to traveling from breast to lymph node. I cannot adequately describe the weight that lifted off of my shoulders as soon as I heard the news. I could see that Chris felt the same way, too.
I am fading fast, but the only other note is that tomorrow we meet with Dr. Mininberg (oncologist) at 10:30. He will walk us through the chemo again, and answer any questions...not sure what else. Then, the moment I have been dreading most...I "get to" be in the Infusion Room and the chemo will start. I hope and pray that no weird reactions occur. One of the drugs is bright red, and can give your skin a weird color, along with other obvious things that happen in the toilet. But, I am feeling pretty strong. I have had to give the kids a couple of pep talks over the last few days, and that has actually helped me as much or more than it helped them. They both had a hard time leaving Jackson Hole...it was a super great trip for us four, along with the family reunion part that was a bigger deal to them than I even realized that it would be. Both kiddos were crying about our return, and of course the time change hasn't helped too much, along with the reality hitting us so quickly of - Mommy having surgery right after we return, then the big question mark of the chemo along with the final school preparations at a brand new school. I understand them feeling a little overwhelmed. But as each, separately, talked to me about what is going to happen and asked a bunch of questions, I reminded them WHY we are doing this. I reminded them that we need to focus on the GOAL, and deal with the side effects as they come, but try to remember that that is what they are - side effects. We are not traveling this path so that I can lose my hair, or feel nauseated, or any other unpleasant thing that might happen. We are doing this to fight the cancer, and kill any cancer that might remain in my body. By sitting down with them, and in simple terms walking through WHY we are doing this, and reminding them that we need to focus on the end goal, not the sidebar issues, it helped me to remember as well. It is easy to get caught up in all the bad of chemo, but I need to remember that chemo is a medicine, and this particular kind has effectively fought this kind of cancer.
So, I am feeling warm and fuzzy now, much better than when I arrived home. I finally got to eat something at about 8:00 (hadn't had anything since dinner last night), so maybe that helped, too. I so appreciate my friend Sarah taking my grocery list and bringing food to us...we have just been trying to get so much done yesterday and today, and there is not enough time in each day. I also cannot believe how much support I have been getting from friends through the schedule that my friend Johanna put together. It is so humbling to be on the receiving end of assistance. Not a comfortable place for me, but yet, appreciated beyond measure. And now, it is lights out. Sweet dreams.
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