Finished 8 of 16

Good morning.  I guess I am developing a "Monday" routine for writing these updates.  Thursday was uneventful (good!) as far as treatments go, except I fell asleep on my friend Anne Marie.  I feel pretty lame when I wake up and see my friend sitting there and realize they have been watching me sleep, but what can you do?  This is one of the reasons they say it's best to have a friend drive, I suppose.  I was a bit sleep deprived going into it also, as the "flashes" continued to wake me up, though they seemed to decrease on Tues./Wed.  I almost missed the fact that this was treatment number 8 out of 16 total.  Another milestone.

When my initial blood work came back before the chemo, the good news was my red blood count, and specifically hemoglobin (oxygen in blood), finally took a turn in the right direction.  It didn't move much, but at least it stopped dropping.  Unfortunately my white blood count (immune system) went down further, but apparently while it is below healthy range it still has room to go before getting overly concerned.

During our consult time I also asked some questions that came about as a result of our two appointments last week with plastic surgeons.  I like both doctors, but prefer one over the other, so I am glad that decision wasn't too difficult.  We had examined several on paper, based on experience, schooling, credentials, etc., then met with two.  The one whom I liked better on paper before the face to face remained the fave after meeting, based on his "portfolio," personality, office and answers to our questions.  Let me just say, for me, having zero knowledge and experience with plastic surgery, and being the type that has given this no thought at all....this whole experience is eye opening.  I am a modest person, and clearly the personnel in these offices are accustomed to the body being an open canvas, where nudity is no big deal and even taking photos of your body are "normal" and apparently not uncomfortable for some.  I was totally out of my comfort zone!!!  I will not get into details, but suffice it to say, while I appreciate the fact this type of option exists, the whole array of options  seems crazy and I really can barely believe I am going down this path.  If everything remains on the current schedule, my surgery will be sometime in mid January.

After all of the research and questions and talks with the doctors, we are about 92% sure we are going to go with the double mastectomy.  I was really waffling there for a bit, wanting to make sure that there were medical reasons behind the double versus single.  I can definitely see the argument for a single, particularly after I realized that you could still do less invasive surgery to "augment" your remaining breast to "match" your new one (even if you choose to keep the same size, they would have to tweak for symmetry).  However, given my age and remaining projected life span, aggressiveness of my type of cancer (grade 3, the most aggressive), and the intense "surveillance" that would be done on the remaining breast every 6 months (including the reasonable potential for false positives leading to additional biopsies, etc.) and the difficulty in "matching" the old and the new, we decided the double provides some peace of mind in these regards.  The healing time really does not increase, though of course my left arm will be affected whereas it wouldn't otherwise be a factor.  We meet with our regular surgeon on November 4th, and I bet we will get a surgery date set soon.

Otherwise, the only other "news" is that I finally have taken advantage of two classes offered at the Cancer Wellness Center.  The first was called Look Good Feel Better and the hair lady, Jennifer, had insisted that I attend.  This is a class offered across the country to breast cancer patients, and over 50,000 women attend every year.  When I went, it was just another woman and myself, so it was nice to be able to talk with her.  She was the first person I spoke with at length who was also going through chemotherapy and she was wearing her wig, etc. and it felt very comforting just to meet her.  I cannot remember her name, and I had completely discounted the idea of therapy and/or meeting a stranger going through this, but now I am realizing there is value in that.  Even if the encounter is for only a couple of hours, there was value in simply talking with another person who really is dealing with the same things you are dealing with.  As it turns out, the aesthetician who taught the class had gone through chemo in her 20s after she was diagnosed with lymphoma, so she was a wealth of knowledge.

The class was all about how to deal with the effects of the chemo and/or radiation as it relates to your beauty routine....skin, hair or lack thereof, makeup.  We were given a very generous bag of full size, name brand beauty products, so of course that was exciting.  I think I posted not too long ago about how my eye lashes and eye brows were hanging in there.  Well, as luck would have it, shortly thereafter I realized I have lost a lot.  My brows are very thin, which shows up a lot on me since mine are so dark.  The beauty bag included this great eye brow enhancer tool, and we were taught how to use it, and it makes an amazing difference.  The same with eye lashes.  If you apply mascara the traditional way, you risk pulling out eye lashes.  So she showed us a new way to do it that is gentler on the remaining lashes, and how to apply eyeliner to try to mimic eye lashes if they all end up coming out.  Again, it is easy to get down in the dumps about this because I really, really do NOT like to spend this long getting ready, but I am thankful there are products out there to help.  Moisturizer is another big one.  My face and body are so very dry, which is very strange for me since I rarely ever have dry skin, so I am not in a good routine of applying moisturizer.  All of these changes are manageable, it's just an adjustment.

The second class I attended was a Mindfulness class.  The thought on this (for me) is to learn to relax in any given moment and to create a routine of having good down time each day.  I am a pretty high strung person as most of you know.  I do not think there is anything wrong with that, except for the fact that I (used to) be running so "fast" that I would either miss moments that should be savored or overreact to situations that could have been handled in a slower, more calm manner.  I love being around calm people, and so I am trying to create more quiet moments for myself.  I realized in the first class that one barrier I have had is that I have not placed adequate value in taking time out for myself.  I realize that there is value in things like working out (healthy body=healthy mind, long life, etc.) but I really have never placed value in taking quiet time for myself (other than my Bible study).  This type of quiet is different from all of those.  It is meditating and cleansing in the sense you are (supposed to be) clearing your mind of all things except your body and your breath and by getting to this point of relaxation, your body releases endorphins, etc. which are healing.  I was not very good at it, but I plan to continue and try to learn how to "unwind" and really just sit for 10-15 minutes at a time without running through a to-do list in my mind, or replaying a conversation in my head, etc.  Up until cancer, if I found myself with 15 minutes of unscheduled time, I would feel the need to fill it.    In fact, I still do to some degree.  However, I am working to change that.  I am trying to teach myself that those 15 minutes are a gift, and it is ALL RIGHT to just sit out on the deck and enjoy the Fall colors and listen to the birds.  No guilt.  No waste.  This does NOT come naturally to me and I am nowhere near where I would like to be on this, but it was eye opening and I see the value in it.  The human body and mind DOES need a break, and we are (sort of) in charge.  At least we are in charge enough to offer ourselves the opportunity for calm and quiet.  :)

Just realized I might sound kind of preachy.  That is not the intent.  I am half trying to remind myself about these things.  I know I cannot change my personality, and I really don't want to...just looking to create a healthy habit, that is all.  For today, I have a friend coming over for a walk, and I think I actually feel up to walking a little bit.  Saturday was rough, felt chilled most of the day and super congested/achy/sinus pressure.  Yesterday was a little better.  As a family, we began to think about what we might want to do to celebrate the end of chemo.  We might do something, but with the surgery looming right after Christmas, I think I prefer to hold off and have a real celebration after I am healed from the surgery.  It was fun to brainstorm things to do for Spring Break or maybe we should hold out until summer.  We let our imaginations run wild, and it was fun.  And yes, there will be a party in there somewhere!  Rest assured!!

Monday, Sleepy Monday

Good morning friends.  Here is a quick update.  Today we meet with our first reconstructive plastic surgeon.  We have an appointment with a second such doctor on Wednesday.  We are meeting with our "regular" surgeon the first week of November, and he advised that we should have made good progress on selecting our plastic surgeon prior to the appointment with him.  I am looking forward to getting "educated" on this upcoming process, but I will admit I am scared of it and obviously dreading it.  In case I haven't mentioned it, the mastectomy (still assuming that is what we will have done) is performed by the breast surgeon (whom I already know from previous procedures) and the reconstruction part is done by the plastic surgeon, so two doctors are involved in this process.  It has been easy for me to be flip about this so far, saying things like "It'll be like the C section...all I have to do is show up!" but deep down that is not how I feel.  I was scared of the c section, too, but I knew I would get a baby out of that deal.  :)  And I knew it wasn't really optional with the way the baby was positioned.  This feels different and we are making some choices, and that brings so many questions.  Then, there are so many different options with breast surgery....who knew??  Different ways of doing it, different scars, different end results, and to me the biggest question is....do I really have to do this and is it the best choice for my overall health.  Feeling some stress from all of this for the first time.

In other news....this 3rd round has been harder.  I don't like the chemo coming around every week.  I keep telling myself that it is nice that we are ticking through the doses in double time, but I was also "enjoying" the almost week of "feel better" days in between.  Last Thursday went as well as the prior Thursday.  They also gave me a flu shot.  I was wiped out and slept from carpool onward, waking up to eat dinner sometime in there.  My white blood count and lymphocytes remain low, but the red blood count and hemoglobin is what is really, really low.  I was hoping those would have crept up, but we can hope for next time.  I am eating meat every day (more meat than I have eaten over the last few years!), resting, taking vitamins, etc. so we will see.  The only other thing that came back after my appointment that I want to ask about this Thursday is the ALT and AST numbers.  I looked this up and see that they can be indicators of liver damage, and I am sure this is a "normal" side effect, but I would like to understand why my numbers have jumped up so much and what does that mean.

All of the previous side effects have continued.  The only change has been increased sinus drainage and associated pain and the big one is the increase in hot flashes.  It seems that I am also having cold flashes too, but it might just be my body readjusting after the hot flashes.  But when it happens I get really cold (Chris says I am cold to the touch) and I feel like I need to wrap myself in a blanket to stave off true chills with teeth chattering.  In the day time these are annoying, but at night, these flashes are keeping me awake.  I plan to see what the dr says or if this goes away before Thursday.  However, I cannot handle not sleeping on top of the body tired feeling I have, so something needs to give on this.

Last thing.....I think a person's attitude about "heavy" things comes and goes, and it is easier to be positive at some times more than others.  I think it might be easy for our friends and family to think that Chris and I stay positive because that is what they see.  We try really hard to put on a brave face, not in an attempt to deceive anyone or be less than transparent, but because in general, it takes a lot of time to explain these deeper feelings and because no one likes to feel vulnerable or broken down.  Anyway, I guess maybe because I haven't felt quite as energetic this round, or maybe it's because of this new round of doctor's appointments, not sure, but Chris has fallen into one of what I call his "deep thinking" modes....quiet and preoccupied.  This, of course, affects me and so this weekend we spent time talking and pondering the future, pouring out our fears, trying to figure out how much we should let this cancer "control" our decisions, etc.  It is crazy not to factor cancer in, and yet, no one wants cancer to be the reason they do anything.  Again, my prognosis is pretty good, but there is always that BUT at the end of the sentence.  I absolutely hate that.  I hate that cancer exists and I hate that we are dealing with this and I hate that ANYONE has to deal with this.  My heart breaks to think of all the CHILDREN I have heard about with cancer.  And I hate to use the word HATE because I teach my children that is a very strong emotion and it is not to be used lightly, but I think in this case I am justified.  Sorry to be going on a tangent here, but this is what happens when I am tired and sleepy and thinking too much.  So I guess what I am saying is that I am not feeling very positive right now, and I don't need anything from anyone other than continued prayers and encouragement.

Chris made a comment this weekend that I hadn't thought much about, but I thought it was interesting.  He said every time we see people they make comments about how "good" I am looking.  I asked why that bothered him, and he said it doesn't so much bother him as much as he thinks people aren't seeing the "real deal."  Of course everyone is being super nice in giving any compliment at all, but I told him I didn't really want people to see the real deal, and that is why I put so much effort into getting ready to go anywhere and have someone come by the house.  The "real deal" is too depressing and I don't feel like sharing that.  He understood after that, but I guess because he is my husband and he sees everything, that conflict makes sense now.  In case you are wondering, the "real deal" is me ripping off the wig, my lovely friend R2, as soon as we walk in the door.  It is me getting my contacts out of my eyes as quickly as possible because the eye drainage makes my vision through contacts so blurry. It is me laying down more than sitting up.  It is no tinted moisturizer and no under eye concealer to attempt to cover the deep dark circles.  It is sweat pants and slippers.  I feel a little guilty about all of this, but we are on the same page in terms of why spend energy doing "extra" on days when I don't have to?

I think that is about all of the news, if that is what we want to call it.  There is a lot going on this week.  I attended my first class at the Cancer Wellness Center last week and I have my second tomorrow, so I will have to share something about those later.  Until then, stay strong, be kind and have a great week!

HALF WAY THROUGH!!!

Good morning friends!  I am sniffling and sneezing and wiping my eyes (not tears, just goo), but I am in a good mood because today marks HALF WAY through the total number of chemo days!!!  This, of course, assumes we stay on the current schedule.  And, it is not half way through the total number of treatments, since those have accelerated to every week.  But, I think counting the total number of DAYS of this process makes the most sense, so that is how I am declaring us HALF WAY through the chemotherapy regimen.  YAY!!  I remember when this point felt very, very far away, and getting here seemed treacherous and scary.  Yet, here we are....kicking and not too much worse for the wear, so that is encouraging for me to think about.  Bald maybe, but even that is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.  It's all about perspective - I am reminded of that on a daily basis these days.

Plans for the day include a board game or two and then watching the TCU v Baylor game.  I love that that game is being played today because they are both my alma maters (TCU undergrad and Baylor for law school), so it's a win - win situation.  I know this is stretching it a "bit" and I am reading waaayy too much into a college football game, but I like to think that the win-win situation of today is a "sign" of more winning and positive things to come, since "my team" will win regardless of the outcome of the game today.  OK, I admit I have more loyalty to TCU, but I always pull for Baylor also, so it's not too much of a stretch.  All right - end of football analogy.

So, enjoy your day, and let's all be thankful for the gifts we have been given.  Half way through any challenge is cause for celebration.  Hugs to you!

So Far So Good

It is Friday morning after my 2nd round of Cocktail #2.  I am feeling a lot better than I would have at this same time with the first cocktail.  In fact, I was able to drag myself to the school to watch the I Love To Read Week parade, and several sweet little moments happened.  I had under-estimated the parking situation, so had to park far away and parallel.  I am not too shabby of a parallel parker, but under pressure with cars waiting, etc. I was thinking..."oh boy, here we go" but a dad had come forward and was directing the mom in front of me, then directed me and everyone behind me, stopped the other traffic trying to get through, etc. and just made it easy.  Then as I stepped out of the car, here comes an employee on a golf cart and offered me a ride up to the school.  I just thought....another little blessing, and that's what I told him on the drive.  He had no idea what my story was or how tired I was feeling, and he could have gone up to any of the other parents getting out, but that just worked out the way it was meant to, and I felt so happy to be there and reassured that all was ok.  The parade was so cute and the kids were just adorable all dressed up in outfits to go along with the books that their classes are reading.  And the best part.....walking up to the group and Jonathan seeing me and rushing over with a giant smile and a big hug.  Again...not really a big deal, but it was for this mom who feels like she has missed out on a lot of "moments" over the last few months.  So thankful that I didn't miss today.

My little Tom Sawyer!

3rd grade ready for the parade

Yesterday went better than last week.  This time my blood results before getting started were the lowest they have been.  I am not happy with this trend but I guess it is normal.  Without the Neulasta shot that I had been getting the day after the chemo, my white blood count took a really big hit.  And my red blood/hemoglobin numbers were down to their lowest point yet.  That really does help explain the fatigue.  The only other new thing I learned is that if my red blood numbers don't flatten out and/or begin to increase, and if I continue to have more fatigue, then we will have to look at a blood transfusion.  I didn't like the sound of that, but they seem to think it was no big deal.  Sounds like a big deal to me.  The PA said that some people with numbers as low as mine get them, but since I seem to be doing ok (and again, I have the luxury of resting a bunch throughout the day), then we will just wait and see.  

Otherwise, we talked about my big time congestion from last week (seemed to get better the last couple of days) with headache (like a sinus infection feel), little bit of neuropathy (coming and going), lots of fluid retention, new and different digestion issues, and my reaction to the Benadryl last time.  All of the first stuff was completely normal, and she gave me a little advice on things to change.  This time they gave me Ativan (relaxer) first, then slowed down the Benadryl drip and I was fine.  Thank goodness.  Also, they gave me the steroids again, and maybe I just missed it last week, but I wasn't expecting that.  Still, I am done with the oral steroids.  

My friend Karina and I passed the time catching up and just dealing with the different things going on there.  Chris often asks me what we talked about and I guess maybe I am more drugged than I realize, but I usually have a very hard time recalling much specific.  Most days I have many moments of frustration, embarrassment, fear or humor (depending on my mood) when I simply cannot recall the names of objects, a specific memory, a person's name, etc.  Again, I think this is normal but I really, really don't like it.  I hope and pray all of the cognitive ability I might have ever had comes back!!!

The only other related item is about a remote possibility of adding a new med to my cocktail.  The short version is basically:  Back when we consulted with Emory, a new medicine, Perjeta, was brought to our attention.  One trial had been released that did not completely match my current situation but it was close enough that the Emory doc said she would probably give it a try, but that insurance would probably present a problem.  Perjeta attacks the Her2 protein that feeds my particular kind of cancer (I believe I am saying this right).  That is the same thing that Herceptin is doing right now, but Perjeta attacks in a different way (so in my non-medical opinion it is another weapon to throw at the cancer).  Of course there are risks associated with the Perjeta, just like the Herceptin (heart failure/weakness...not to be taken too lightly).  Anyway, back when we returned from Yellowstone and the clock was ticking so quickly, we talked with our Piedmont doc about the new drug, but he wasn't willing to "go there" with the new drug since it was not approved for my situation specifically and because of the risks associated with it and the unknown factor given my situation.  We went with that.  Last week or the week before a new trial involving Perjeta was released and it is back in the news and we are second guessing the decision.  If we were going to take this drug it would need to be starting now or really, really soon in order to get in 8 weeks of doses before my chemo regimen ends.  The new trial still does not match my situation perfectly, and the closest speaks to the pre-op setting.  We are frustrated that we could have been given the Perjeta IF they had realized I was lymph node positive before my surgery.  But we have to deal in reality and trust that no one expected me to be lymph node positive based on valid tests and that for whatever reason things have happened the way they have.  

Chris went back to my Piedmont doctor last week and revisited the Perjeta issue.  Doc still says no based on the trials not fitting my exact circumstance, wanting to go with accepted and tested protocol and given the risks to me.  Chris asked him to please consult with MD Anderson about me (where my doc used to practice), and my doc agreed.  He just came back to us and said MD Anderson agrees with his decision.  This all sounds right I think, but Chris especially is struggling with accepting the idea of a new drug being out there that I cannot have.  He has asked for a new consultation with Emory, and as much as I dislike the idea of changing doctors and hospitals, we would do it if the Emory doc says yes.  We are just knocking at this door one more time, and we will trust and accept the final answer that comes....hopefully today.  We are trying to leave no stone unturned and to be our own best advocate.  I will admit that I personally have not been too stressed about this new "bump" or question.  But my dear husband has lost a lot of sleep over it, and I can see the look in his eyes and the stress on his face.  He is really focused on the long term and the life that we want to have together in old age, and I love him for that.  It is not easy to watch him try to mask relaxation, mainly because he is such a bad actor.  :)  I can see right through him.  Luckily, the kids can't, so that is good.  If you feel moved, please pray that the doctors take the time to think through this decision specific to me and what is in my best interest, and that we are doing the right thing, and for us to trust and accept the answers when they come.  Chris went over my "stats" as a refresher with my current doc, and that is always a sobering reminder of why we are going through all of this.  I tend to block these things, but the numbers discussed with my current plan are that I have a projected 85% survival rate at the 5 year mark.  The Perjeta would increase that to 87% or 88% I think.  I believe I also remember the idea of that statistic including EVERYONE, all ages, etc.  IF that is true then I'd like to believe that I am on the high side of those numbers, maybe higher??

So there is the update.  I am pooped and planning to stretch out and maybe try to read a book.  All of the fluid retention is bothering my vision, though, so maybe I'll just watch another episode of NCIS on my DVR.  I am glad to have discovered this show at the beginning of this cancer chapter.  There were so few programs that we regularly watch, and I tend to fixate on one show and watch all episodes, then find another show, etc.  And I really don't like most sit coms, anything gory or too scary or most reality TV, but I like a little tame drama.  Yes, you are probably thinking it so I'll go ahead and say it....I am sure my TV thinks I am 70 years old based on my viewing habits.  Soooo, it has been kind of perfect that I discovered a show that has been in production for a decade.  My DVR always has about 20 episodes waiting, making me a relatively happy camper.  From the girl who never turned on her TV in the middle of the day and might have been known to scoff at those who do, I have come a long way, mostly guilt free.  :)  Have a great weekend!

Schedule your screening tests friends!!  Do those self exams!  Don't procrastinate!

New Chemo Day 6

It's Tuesday morning and with the first kind of chemo, this day has typically been one of the worst.  But, so far this chemo has been quite different.  I keep trying to analyze the differences, but this is the first round of the new stuff, and I have learned that each round has its own little twist, so I will just share how I have been feeling since Thursday and we'll see how it is going forward.

First, I don't have to go back the day after the chemo to get the Neulasta shot!  Yay.   That is a slow shot that was never fun, so I am happy that is over.  Second, the pre meds are totally different, and do not include steroids anymore.  Big yay for that.  With the first chemo, I was getting nausea med plus steroids through the port before the chemo, and the steroids were given to extend the time that the nausea meds worked.  Then I had to follow that up with oral steroids for three days.  These helped contribute to the shakes (I think) and definitely affected my sleep.  That is all done!  Now, I have to rely on the nausea pills alone, and so far so good.  Third, the Magic Mouth Wash that I mentioned last time really is magic.  It made a big difference in the mouth sores the very same day I began using it.  By Friday they were either gone or a non issue.  Another very good thing.

You might remember that the first time I did the chemo the nurses ran the drugs slower than normal, so that they could check for any reactions.  We had to do that again on Thursday, but it seemed even slower than the first time.  Typically, I arrive at 9:30 (bloodwork 1st then I see the doc or PA) and am leaving by 1:00 or 1:30.  We were there for SIX hours on Thursday and my friend who drove me and I had to scramble to find someone else to pick up our kiddos from school, etc.  I felt terrible for her, but we didn't see many other options by the time we learned how much longer the whole thing would take.  Anyway, once again my red blood numbers were down to their lowest point yet, but apparently they won't take such a big hit with the new chemo.  They are not expected to bounce back, but we were told they shouldn't continue to drop and might begin to rebound as we go through chemo #2.  I was reminded that this is a big part of why I am so tired all the time.

With the new chemo, the pre meds were much "lighter" in my opinion.  I was given Tylenol, Pepcid, Ativan and Benadryl through the IV.  The nurse said they are to help my body accept the new chemo without any allergic reaction.  The funny thing was that the only drug I had any allergic reaction to all day long was the Benadryl.  As soon as it started I instantly said my head feels weird.  I could feel a spinning at the back of my head and then it got heavy and I immediately felt "off."  Then I recognized this as my feeling before I faint, and for those of you who have been reading since the beginning you know I was scared then because I do not like to faint (though I am prone to it).  Almost immediately I felt the weird tingling in my elbows and knees, felt the heat rush up from my chest to my face, then things started to go black from the far peripheral vision and move forward.  I really don't know what happened to the nurse (this was the first time that I felt a little unimpressed with a Piedmont nurse), but my friend was awesome and jumped out of her chair and grabbed my hand, knelt down and told me to start breathing deeply.  She counted and talked me through breathing in and out and the black finally began to recede.  That is such a strange and scary feeling if you have never felt a faint coming on.  I was so glad we were able to stop it and get calm again and move on.  Kudos to Kati for being fabulous and super helpful!  This Thursday I plan to make sure I have the Ativan (calming med) BEFORE the Benadryl, and also talk with the nurse about whether I can just take the Benadryl orally or if she has any other idea how to handle the Benadryl issue.

So the rest of the time there was fine, just really long.  I usually don't turn around and look at the bag of medicine, but I did many times on Thursday just to see if it was moving at all.  People came after us, then left, and we kept sitting there.  I think there were three different people in the chair near mine in the time we were there.  This Thursday they will run the chemo drugs at half speed (they were at quarter speed last Thursday, I believe), then next week we will be up to full speed.  I am not complaining, since I know this is the safest way to go and you never know when someone might have a bad reaction.  They tell me to watch for things like shortness of breath, itching/ticking in the throat, any kind of burning and of course rashes/hives.  So far so good.

Here is what the chemo drugs look like when the arrive.  The first time I saw them it was like, yikes.  Sort of scary looking.  They don't keep these just laying around.  The safety protocol requires two nurses to be present to hook up the drugs and verify that I am the correct patient for them.  

Here I am with R2 and fingers in the ice.  I only did this while one of the drugs ran, but it still felt like a long time.  I love this awesome blanket that my sweet friends from back in the playgroup days gave!  It kept me cozy and arm.

I also had my toes covered with ice (I ended up taking off the socks since I was afraid my toes might not be cold enough to help).  Also, I might not have mentioned it but it is very evident in this picture, I was retaining a ton of water leading into this chemo.  

Let's see, what else?  I am super thankful that I still have a few eye lashes left and quite a lot of eye brows.  Goodness knows I was blessed with an abundance of eyebrow hair!  Someone should dig out an old photo of my fabulous unibrow.  Anyway - I will NEVER complain about it again.  When the time comes for my hair to grow back, I will gratefully pluck, wax and do whatever I need to do in total silence going forward.  If I was really brave I would grow back the unibrow just to show that I can.  :)

Overall, this chemo seems better than the first.  I have not been nauseated, and nausea is simply the worst.  I have been more tired early on than I was with the first.  And this tired is different.  It feels worse than just sleepy tired....it feels more like I have a bad cold or maybe even the flu tired.  My mornings have started off ok, but then after lunch my head feels heavy, and my eyes want to close.  I think this is probably because there are also cold symptoms happening.  My nose was runny pretty consistently with the first chemo for the last few weeks, but this is worse.  My nose is REALLY runny, all day long, and my eyes are watering, and my throat is sore.  When I wake up in the morning my eyes are glued shut.  It is gross.  And the night sweats are more consistent.  But that is the only thing interrupting my sleep at this point, so it could be worse.  Poor Chris, though.  I barely ever remember much, but he describes me thrashing around to get out of the covers and later piling on the covers to warm up.  Oops.  I have had a few episodes of what I perceive to be neuropathy (numbness and tingling in my finger tips), but it hasn't lasted too long.  I also have had shooting pains in various places, but I don't know that I can write that off to chemo.  They told me to expect weird aches and pains, but that sometimes happened before cancer, so who knows?!?    

I felt good enough to attend soccer games this weekend, so that was great.  It took me an hour to comb out R2 after being out in the wind on Saturday.  My mother turned 70 on Saturday and my brother was out from TX, so we were able to get together and celebrate, so that was good, too.  Finally, Chris and I began the search for a plastic surgeon yesterday.  We scheduled the appointment with our regular surgeon for early November, but he would like us to have selected our reconstruction surgeon by that time.  There is a lot we need to educate ourselves on, and so that will be our job this week.  

I believe that is the update.  Thanks so much for reading and following along.  Your support is a constant encouragement to me, as well as Chris.  Have a great day!