This is just a quick, late night update. Remember yesterday when I wrote that I am trusting the Piedmont people know what they are talking about, with regard to the timing of the hair loss? Well I can confirm that they most certainly do. Today is Day 12, and while I woke up in a happy mood, I was quickly shot down to size when I took my shower. I speculated on the phone to Chris right after the shower that I *might* have starting losing my hair, since it sort of felt like more than average came out during shampoo, etc. He said, why don't I test it? So, I grabbed a bunch near my ear and pulled, and it all just came out. I can't really describe what I felt at that moment, but I suppose it was shock, horror, nausea...mainly shock. I know that must sound so crazy to say that I was shocked by something that I have "known" was coming, but apparently I was holding out some unrealistic hope that maybe I was the exception and that just maybe, my hair might not actually come out. I didn't even know I was hoping that....but how else to explain the shock??
So.....I had my breakdown and pulled myself back together, saw the dentist (who I adore....just the best dentist.....great doctor and even better human being.....Dr. Alex Patrick), then immediately was on my way to meet friends for lunch then do the hair appointment together. Needless to say, I have had some trouble keeping a lid on my emotions today, but I had to decide if today was the day to cut down my hair. I wanted to see what advise the hair lady, Jennifer, gave, and of course she said everyone is different. She pulled on a different part of my hair, and not a ton came out. She said this can be a process over several days, but that it does get messy. Usually the 2nd chemo isn't until what would be Day 15 (really becomes Day 1 again), but since mine is coming on what would be Day 13, she said the early dose of Adriamycin could make it really come out fast on Wednesday.
So....I had all of that to weigh. Jennifer's next appointment isn't until Thursday. Logically, I knew that it was a matter of three days, and it didn't make much sense to take more of her time, and mine (plus my two friends there for support), but I simply couldn't make myself do it yet. We tried on the wig again, and tried to redo the part, learned some more about the care for it, and I plan to go back on Thursday. Maybe it's just human nature to procrastinate on things you don't want to do. But...really....in my heart I was thinking I need a couple of days to actually get used to this...for real this time. I did go ahead and buy a little head cover cap for sleeping or wearing when the wig isn't on. It is a pretty turquoise color. I tried on a few head wraps but I couldn't make myself like them....not even a little bit.
So that's the update. Tomorrow I go back for Chemo #2, but really that will make us 50% of the way through the 1st type of cocktail. I don't know what to expect with my hair, but I will be distracted tomorrow by all of the other happenings. I am praying for a smooth process tomorrow...no surprises, happy stomach, and for strength to just accept the hair thing. I am sure once we get past this point, I will be fine...right now it just feels so huge because it is unknown, unpleasant and so far from what anyone would choose. Good night friends!
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