Big Day

I don't know what happened with this blog.  I had written - and PUBLISHED - a post titled Big Day back on the 12th, but then when I came back to it last night, the post was gone (except for the first two paragraphs).  Anyway - Here is what was written, along with my feeble attempt to remember what ELSE was written.  

Well....today is definitely a big day in this house.  The kiddos started the new year at their new school this morning.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I have been overwhelmed by the extent of kindness that has been extended to us, essentially strangers to so many of these people.  I know that God is not surprised by any of this, and that His plan is simply unfolding, but when I look back over the agonizing decisions we made...to move from King Valley to Vinings Estates (in the backyard of our new school, though at the time we weren't thinking of schools, we were thinking of a good deal on a great house), then the even more difficult decision to switch schools (which now makes so much more sense, especially logistically), I can't help but think we had to be doing something right.  With each decision point we paused, and waited, and prayed, and then we both knew what to do.  I remember several times Chris and I talked about, "Gosh, did we think that through enough??"  Or, "I can't believe we did that..." but now things are starting to make more sense, and I am convinced that we weren't supposed to "think things through" any more that we did.

The other thing that makes today a BIG DAY is it's our 14 year anniversary.  I would have never guessed that we would be at this point 14 years ago, but then again, who thinks that way?  We took each other for better or for worse, in sickness and in health...forever, and I cannot stop myself from crying when I think about how fortunate and blessed I am to have Chris as my husband.  I hate that over the last year, especially, I feel like I have been a dead weight in the marriage...the one who has slowed us down and caused us to change plans, the one who has made us miss out on fun things and veer off the course we charted.  But then I have to remind myself that this has not been a choice that I made...goodness knows.  Anyway - it would be impossible for anyone to have a more supportive husband than I do....and yes I know that I am biased, but that is the way it is supposed to be.  He has taken time away from work and generally made me his top priority and I am forever thankful to him and for him.

In health news.....my tummy remains my biggest problem.  I have had to take the nausea pills only a couple of times, and thankfully, they seem to work.  But, I haven't yet found anything that helps with the tummy pain.  On Saturday I ate a delicious salad, but it about killed me....bloated belly (think 4/5 months pregnant) with tons of gurgling, pressure, cramping, pain, but nothing else.  I have been extra cautious about foods since then, but I cannot seem to get the "bloat" to go away.  Very uncomfortable.  But in the big scheme of things, this is still better than I imagined I would feel after chemo.  So.....not complaining...just explaining.  The shakes remain but not as much.  I have been drinking tons of fluid, which is supposed to help.  And I seem to get tired after every meal, but that's not really so bad.   :)

Finally, even though we missed the festivities on Sunday, we were able to attend everything on Monday..... Open House for both Middle and Lower School, plus an All Campus Picnic with food and carnival games/bouncy houses, etc.  I think the whole family was happy I managed to stay strong for all of that, and it encouraged me that we were starting the school year in the same way we would have regardless of the cancer.  I still can barely stand that everyone new I meet is meeting me under "these" circumstances, but I am trying to not dwell on that.  I am trying to just be me, and let new people take me as I am, and remember that there is more to me than this, even though it feels so big and all consuming right now.