We Have A Surgery Date!

This week has been a little different.  Last Wednesday we picked up the medication, Effexor, they prescribed to combat the hot flashes that were keeping me awake at night.  From the beginning I did not seem to react well to it.  I woke up the next morning feeling queasy, and I felt more nauseated when I moved around or bent down, just like with the first chemo.  My eyes were twitching and my muscles were shaking.  The worst, though, was when I would try to sleep I had difficulty getting my brain to slow down.  It was really strange....reminded me of my reaction to a few prescription painkillers I have had, where the "noise" from my brain was so loud I thought I was going to go nuts. I have always said I hate taking medication, especially anything with a narcotic effect.  It does strange things to my mind.  The shaking reminded me of the shots they give at the dentist.  They always warn me that it has a bit of an epinephrin effect, and I really don't like that shaky feeling.  After the second dose we finally realized we could move the time I take it up earlier in the day and that did help a little with the sleep.  Not so many crazy, fast thoughts.  But, all the rest of the "effects" remained, so I basically stopped taking it on Sunday.  All the symptoms went away within a day.  And the sweats stayed away for a night, too, but they were back again last night.  I guess we will see what else they can come up with to fight the hot flashes.  In any event, I prefer the hot flashes/sleeplessness over all the stuff above.  Yuck.

Otherwise, my red blood count climbed up in the good direction again, and my white blood count stayed about the same overall, but with my Lymphocytes decreasing.  I am not sure how to explain that.  I am curious to see how everything looks this week.  I have been fighting a sore throat and a bit of an ear ache since shortly after the chemo last week, and I know my glands are really swollen on the left side of my throat (they hurt!), so I get the feeling my body is trying to fight something off.  Mouth sores are back again, but luckily I have the Magic Mouth Wash, which is helping (though it doesn't seem quite as miraculous as last time).  The only other thing I realized is that my eye brows and eye lashes are really, really thin now.  However, I am amazed at how "decent" it looks to make fake eye brows by drawing them in the way they taught us in our little chemo beauty class.  I notice the thinness immediately in the mirror first thing in the morning, but once I use the brow tool, I don't notice at all.  Yay - good news.

Finally, my breast surgery has been scheduled for January 21st.  When the nurse called me today with the date my first reaction was panic, yikes, this is really happening.  That lasted a split second, followed by, ok, well now we have a date so I can get this figured out and move on.  For those who know me well, you know I immediately went to my iCal to add it and get going on getting organized with childcare, etc.  That led to my 3rd reaction, which was total dismay, because I quickly saw that January 21 is Muffins with Mom at school.  A once a year event.  Boo.  I am so sad about this, but I don't have the heart to try to change the schedule because I know that nurse had to coordinate THREE different doctors' schedules to make this happen.  I will get over it.  Jonathan will get over it (haven't had the heart to tell him yet - that can wait).  I should have looked forward at the calendar to start with so that I could have maybe requested NOT to have it on that date, but I'm not nearly firing on all cylinders here.  Anyway - you might be thinking this isn't a big deal, and I guess in the big scheme of things it isn't, but really, they are only little once, and so the number of times a mom attends an event like this is about 6 times per child EVER, then you're done.  I will try to put my "thinking cap" on (in quotes because Chris and I joke about chemo brain all the time now since I regularly struggle to pull words out of my head that I know I know) and come up with an alternative to Muffins with Mom.  Enough about that!!

So, the surgery is scheduled at 8:00AM, with a 6:00AM arrival.  I prefer that over the later surgery times.  I think it is about a 4-5 hour surgery.  Seems long, but I know they have a lot to do.  Also, having the early surgery slot enhances my chances of only spending one night in the hospital, I bet.  I pray that I can have a calmness going into this surgery.  I am going to work on that.  I am not feeling very calm right now.  I was scared of the lumpectomy, and this is so much more that I am not quite sure how to get over being afraid.  But, I am praying about it and trusting that this is (unfortunately) a common surgery, and the doctors know what they are doing.  It will not be my first time with anesthesia, so that is reassuring.

I think those are the main updates.  I have a regular Thursday chemo this week.  Jonathan is performing this Thursday in the school Variety Show, and I really, really don't want to miss it.  I haven't ever tried to do anything on a Thursday before.  You have read how I feel.  On the day of chemo the main feeling is pure exhaustion, especially after it is over.  Part of it is the "relaxing" drugs they give me.  All I want to do is sleep.  BUT....we shall see if I can pull this off.  Having Chris to lean on will be key.....stay tuned!